She is my Lady: The journals of Zhao Yun
by Sanzo-Chan the wondering monk
Summary: When you first arrived, I didn't know what to say. I'll always protect you and be there no matter what." Zhao Yun describes and observes Lady Sun's first year at the Shu palace. Slight hint of ZYSSX.


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in Dynasty Warriors, they are property of Koei.

She is my Lady: The journals of Zhao Yun

Summer

She came to us towards the end of summer time. The air was moist and humid; her carriage wheels showed signs of splitting. When she stepped off the carriage I felt as if time slowed down, yet nothing was effected. She looked around the entire palace entrance cautiously, not trusting anything in this new environment.

"Lady Sun, welcome to Shu."

"You have a lovely palace, Liu Bei."

"As Empress of Shu, it's half yours now. If you need anything, ask Zhao Yun."

"Zhao Yun?"

Her deep, dark, honey colored eyes glanced at me for a moment, I nodded to let her know I was the one her husband was talking about. Her attendants came quickly to carry her belongings as she walked pass me, entering the palace. There were about one hundred female attendants, all clad in armor. Lord Liu Bei swallowed nervously as they all walked by. I was later told by my lord that from here on out, I would be her guard and protect her no matter what -- and to keep her guards in control. I was to protect not only her, but his son, the infant lord, Liu Chan as well.

"I trust you to keep an eye on her."

"Yes, my lord."

And that was how I became her servant, and she, my lady.

Fall

It didn't really take long until Lady Sun took control of the household; she was far more bold than the master's late wife, Lady Gan. In spite of her strict authority, she was quickly admired by the servants.

Of all her duties and tasks, she took none more seriously than caring for her stepson, Liu Chan. She protects the infant lord, Liu Chan so seriously that she stands close watch of anyone that goes near the cradle. Often, I can see her hold Liu Chan close to her as she oversees the activities of the palace.

Just as Lord Liu Bei ordered, I dutifully watch over Lady Sun without fail. She would sometimes scold me about how close I guard her and send me on my way. But to her dismay, I always return.

"As I told you before, I don't need you to protect me!"

"I promised my lord that I would, and it's what I intend to do."

Slowly, as each day went by, I noticed some changes in her attitude. She's become distant, quiet, and unsure. However, these mood swings don't last long and she will go back to her daring and bold self. But I still couldn't help but worry about her.

One night when Lady Sun was putting Liu Chan to bed, she spoke to Lord Liu Bei. I overheard Lady Sun telling her feelings to her husband. She had grown homesick. However…

"You're free to go whenever, you know."

"I'd like to go home, but I can't."

"Why not?"

"My brother is still angry with me."

"You should've thought of that before you ran away."

Winter

My wife passed away shortly after giving birth to my second son, Guang. I was lucky that Lord Liu Bei gave me some time off to stay home until my son grew a few months older, or until I found a nurse, whichever came first. Every night as I watch my two sons sleep, I've been thinking of my wife.

She was a good woman. She worked hard at home and was a loving and nurturing mother. She beamed with so much intelligence and loved conversation. I still remember some of our banter when she was still pregnant.

"You're going to the palace again?"

"Yes, I've been assigned to guard the Empress."

"I see, could you bring some almond jelly on your way home?"

"Still having those cravings? Anything for my wife."

"Thank you, Yun. Be careful, ok?"

"Don't worry, I will. I'll see you tonight."

"I love you."

Hearing those words coming from her lips would always make my day…

As the winter season drew to a close, I came back to work since one of the ladies of the palace agreed to help me with my sons. Nothing much had changed around the castle. I heard that Lady Sun sent a letter home asking if it was ok for her to come home for a visit.

I worry about her sometimes. I wonder if she's really happy. If she were to leave, what of Lord Liu Chan? That child has become Lady Sun's whole world. Sometimes I can't help but think if he's the only thing that makes her life worth living at times.

I caught her crying in her bedroom one evening. I was passing by making sure everything was secure when I heard the sound of pottery breaking. Her door was halfway open and I saw her on her knees, weeping. Ceramic shards lay scattered on the floor around her.

"My Lady?"

"Leave me in peace."

"I won't leave you, not like this…"

"But…"

"I won't."

I came to see what was wrong, only to be pushed away. I stayed anyway, against her wishes.

I didn't understand why she was upset and why she had thrown that vase. She wouldn't tell me, she just cried bitterly. I reluctantly took her in my arms in attempt to help comfort her, and this time she didn't push me away. Hot tears stained my armor, but I didn't mind. What would Lord Liu Bei think if he saw his wife like this?

It wasn't until I saw what she was holding that I realized had made her upset: a letter addressed to her, from her brother, Lord Sun Quan of Wu. The letter was wrinkled and torn down the middle. I took both pieces from Lady Sun, put them together, and read it. It only had four words written on it as her brother's reply to Lady Sun's request to come home. I bit my lip as I read it. I threw the letter down to the ground with a heavy heart. It's message still bothers me…

"**_I have no sister."_**

Lady Sun is a woman of great character. I can't see why anyone would cause her such pain. I've protected her as if she were my own sister, so it makes my heart ache to see her like this. She's stronger than any woman I've met, much bolder, and more resilient. No wonder the servants admire her so. Not only that, but she's as proud as her father and brothers, and I mean her no offence when I say she's quite the tomboy.

I stood outside Lady Sun's bedroom door all night. Until I knew that she was going to be alright, I stayed close in case she'd need me. Leaning against her chamber's door, I could still hear her soft and muffled sobs. _I'm here for you,_ I thought to myself,_ I won't let anything happen to you, I promise._

All through the night, in between her sobs she murmured something. I couldn't make out all of it. All I heard was: "_Brother…my brother…_

"My brother has forsaken me..."

.................

After that night, she made an attempt to thrust a dagger into her heart. I stopped her, but the dagger slipped and dug itself into my forearm.

"Lady Sun, don't do this!"

"Just let me go!"

"If I do that, then what of the young lord?"

"Liu Chan…"

Spring

Lady Sun's doing much better now and has slowly gone back to her lively self. She's been through a long recovery since the incident.

She's pretty much put the whole thing behind her and become an even more attentive mother. If there are any pains that she has left, she hides it with a thin smile. She even helps me with my sons from time to time. With a new love for life, she's accepted that this is her home now. And if anyone needs her most, it is be her stepson.

I escorted her to the peach garden the other day with the young lord. She held the baby close to her breast as she pointed out different flowers and named each of them. The peach trees haven't bloomed yet, but they will soon. When they do, I'll bring them back here with my sons as well.

"They are not in bloom yet, my lady."

"I know, but I just can't wait. Haven you ever seen anything as beautiful as this?"

"Actually, I have…"

Looking down at her serene face, I found happiness. I just wish that I didn't have to go away tomorrow. Lord Liu Bei's holding a campaign against the Nanman and I don't know when I'll be back. But I promised myself that I'd be back, I want to. Unconsciously, my hand drew close to brush some loose hair away from Lady Sun's face, but I quickly pulled back. I just stood aside watching her, listening to her laugh softly with a voice so resonant with spirit.

Lady Sun, I know what you are thinking. And, I know, I feel the same way, too…

"Liu Chan…"

_Lady Sun…Lord Liu Chan…_

**__**

"I'll never leave you…"

--End.

Author's Note: This one shot fic is a "practice" for a much longer fic I want to do with pretty much the same idea. Depending on the responses I get will help me decide if I' going to do that anytime soon.

I would like to thank my proof readers, my friends Kitsune-chan and S3. I love you guys!

Please R/R I'd like to hear from you, constructive criticism greatly appreciated .


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